just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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