im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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