so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
