Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
third nipple confirmed
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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