so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
