Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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