Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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