Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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