Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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