Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize