Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
