before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
