There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
