didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
