dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
