i think my tv is drunk
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
