'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize