i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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