Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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