he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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