i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
