Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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