well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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