Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Randomize