After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
