i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
