covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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