You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
