forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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