She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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