I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
