I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
there is glitter all over my balls
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