Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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