dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We left the knife in your bed.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How naked do you want me to be?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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