Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
