Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
