ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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