Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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