I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
