Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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