She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
