I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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