On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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