It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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