at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
