I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
