we're blogging at a bar
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
