do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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