i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
