I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
