Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I cannot find my penis.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Randomize
