idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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