nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
