Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
