i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize