Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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