I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
