therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
