Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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