just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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