Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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