They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
