I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
