so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
